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News ::
Teaching safe sex, quite deceptive (english)
13 Mar 2003
Modified: 08:56:31 AM
This is a letter I sent to our new governor here in Maine concerning an issue that is deeply affecting our country more that the problem of terrorism.
Dear Governor Baldacci,

This letter concerns an issue that is plaguing our nation. I hope this will someday be brought to the forefront for a national debate. Although it is of an opposing and controversial viewpoint I hope you will keep in mind my thoughts if perhaps this issue is ever brought to the public eye, whereby you might use your public platform to inform our fellow Mainers and hopefully save our children from the trouble that looms overhead waiting to ensnare them.

I'm writing concerning several young women who attend Our local High School and the fact that they are pregnant, and the teaching of so called safe sex. The issue has been on my mind for some time. As I go house to house and to the low income complexes thoughout our town, I'm saddened by the state of our youth. I see many broken homes and half families. I've seen, in my 11 years in business, many young mothers alone with their children trying hard to make ends meet with no husband there to help provide for the family, assist in the rearing of the child or help in paying the bills. I was shocked one night while walking thru the highschool after a class, when I saw a glass encased room with little toys chairs and tables and asked a custodian what the room was, to which she responded "thats the baby room" I was almost speachless. I found it hard to believe that there were so many young girls ruining their lives by having sex outside of marriage and getting pregnant that there had to be a baby room built to accomodate them.

My friend owns a store here in town and has a young girl working for him who is pregnant at 16 and got pregnant when 15. The young man who imprenated her got 5 other girls pregnant within several months of each other and his current girlfriend still wants to be with him after all he's done. To the young man's mind, he did nothing wrong. The young girl said that she made him wear a condom but it burst and now she's pregnant. Of course if we go by what the children are taught in the public school, she and he did nothing wrong. They practiced exactly according to how they were taught. They wore a condom and now her life is changed, and not for the better I might add. My question is: How can we hold any young man responsible who gets a girl pregnant and doesn't care for the child, when that is exactly the behavior that the public school sanctions or encourages: Sex as long as it's so called "safe".
The practice of safe sex is one that is quite deceptive. It teaches the children that there are no consequences of having sex outside of marriage as long as they protect themselves. The problem is that there are not only physical and emotional consequences but financial ones as well, especially for the young girls. It is a proven statistic that young unmarried women who get pregnant in their teens don't do well economically throughout their lives.

Safe sex or sex outside of marriage has taken its toll on America considering the fact that traditional families comprise only 25% of households, with divorce being at an all time high, with the theory being; if you can have as many partners before you're married, why not after? Whats a few words and a piece of paper going to do to keep you faithful?

Another consideration is the numerous sexually transmitted diseases one may encounter from having multiple partners. Talking about sex and instructing young children on how to be "safe" when they engage in this adult behavior is borderlining child abuse. Consider that fact that we as a society do not allow children to vote before age 18, drink before age 21
and drive a car before age 16. What makes us think that children can handle or be responsible with sex and raising a child in their early teen years, which requires much more responsibility than all of the above, especially considering that these young mothers are raising the next generation?

The young man who impregnates a young girl neither has the means nor the will to support the young woman and their child. One young woman I spoke with recently told how her boyfriend, which had been having sex with her for two years, left her when he found out she was pregnant. Now that the baby is born, he doesn't even want to see his child. Its plain to see, he was simply using the young woman for his own selfish pleasure and had no love for her. The best method to avoid the many problems associated with sex outside of marriage is to teach the children to abstain from sex until they are ready to marry and support a child in a safe loving environment. Its been clearly proven, that children do better with two loving parents in the home.

A study on gangs approx. four years ago, showed that over 90% of gang members interviewed didn't have a father at home. My young friend who was in a gang in Boston a number of years ago said that none of the guys in the gang had a father at home. Two young married friends from the Bronx, now living in Augusta, had 14 close friends and all had father issues. The young lady's parents were never married and her father pawned her off on his relatives where she was not wanted and grew up a very angry young woman with a great lack of love. Now she has somewhat adjusted with her new husband and has a measure of stability in her life. As a result of all the recent and growing gang activity, we have more violence and injury, which means higher hospital costs. We need to build more jails and juvenile detention centers. We have more problems with drugs. We need more police and better security systems, not to mention an increase in taxes. Let us consider for a moment, all of the young mothers and children in America on state assistance and food stamps, with full medical coverage and the great expense this causes to taxpayers. This cycle of getting pregnant outside of marriage, to receive benefits, is often times repeated by the children.

Another problem caused by the teaching of so called safe sex is the problem with "dead beat dads". These young men who father these children end up in court having to pay child support for their child and threatened with having their drivers license revoked or even jail time, which enraged one man I spoke with, because he owed a very large amount of money which he was not able to pay and the amount they garnisheed from his paycheck didn't leave him enough to live on. If we would only warn the young man NOT to touch a young woman unless he is ready to marry and support her and the child, how much better off they would be and this entire problem would be avoided.

It breaks my heart to think of all these dislocated children during the holidays with no dad in the home to participate in the activities or be there for the children. The mother may have a boyfriend but he just doesn't fill the gap like their real father can, because he generally will not love the children like a real father would. Considering there are so many people out there from broken and disfunctional homes, its no wonder the suicide rate is so high during the holiday season.

The teaching of safe sex and the idea that sex outside of marriage is acceptable is simply unacceptable. It is causing our nation to die and wither on the vine. We need to strengthen the family for our society's sake and most of all, for our childrens sakes. The only way to acheive this objective is to teach the truth, which is that sex outside of marriage ALWAYS carries negative consequences. There is not one good thing that can be said for sex outside of marriage. It simply destoys lives or at the very best reduces the special uniqueness of the relationship once married because there will always be memories of the former lovers. Lifelong marriage and faithfulness within that marriage brings great stability and security for both the couple and their children. I hope we as a society will consider the sorrow that safe sex has caused so many young children, mothers included, and consider teaching what is in our childrens best interest which is to abstain from sex until marriage, which is the foundation of a safe, stable and productive society. Some say "You can't legislate morality" and I say "You can't legislate morality, but you can teach it".

Robin
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Yes, quite deceptive because.... (english)
13 Mar 2003
Nobody is claiming to be teaching "safe sex". That's YOUR delusion about what they are doing. Nobody is advocating young teens have sex, again it's YOUR delusion that they do.

The proper term is "safer sex". I haven't heard anybody teach that sex was safe, that there was any way to make it completely safe, that at best it remains dangerous. But there are degrees of danger.

And you also have a delusion that there is more sex among young people now than at some imagined golden age in the past. Those teaching "safer sex" simly recognize that SOME young people are going to have sex before they are ready. Just like they always did. And maybe if they at least knew how to reduce the risks fewer of them would suffer the worst consequences.

But you don't want that. You want the violators of your sense of morality to be punished. You want sex to be as dangerous as possible.