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News ::
Indymedia's Parade of Stars! (english)
19 Jun 2003

In our ongoing effort to present to you the latest buzz from below the Beltway in Twaddle Town we bring you reader requests:
Indymedia’s Parade of Stars!


Dear Indy,
What ever happened to Osama bin Laden?
Just wondering

Dear Just,
The “Cleric” is alive and well in an undisclosed location where he enjoys the company of his many children, wealthy family and friends. Reports say recently Osama had the Cheneys over for dinner and a game of Monopoly (their undisclosed location is said to be nearby). Everyone had a grand time until Lynn asked Osama if he had accepted Jesus Christ as his personal savior.

Dear Indymedia,
What ever happened to the budget surplus?
Hurting in Hackensack

Dear Hurt,
Ask George!

Dear IMC,
What on earth ever happened to Saddam Hussein??
Joe Sixpack

Dear Joe,
The “Butcher of Baghdad” is living comfortably with his harem and billions of U.S. taxpayer dollars at an undisclosed location (said to be near the Cheneys). Word has it that his three tractor trailer loads of cash are parked in the driveway with the engines running, just in case Witness Protection gives him the signal to relocate to another undisclosed location (said to be near Osama’s).

Dear Inthemedia,
Say, what DID happen to George Bush’s economic advisor?
Penny Less

Dear Less,
Which one??

Dear Impymedia,
I’m wondering whatever, you know, happened to Al Gore?
Demmy Crap

Dear Dem,
We thought you’d never ask! The “Veep”, who shaved his beard and actually began to publicly confront the neo-cons about their wacky policies, has once again grown his beard back and is living in a cave at an undisclosed location, contemplating the meaning of life. And yes, Tipper and the kids are there as well, and, get this, Tipper’s growing a beard too!

Dear Inzeemedia,
I’d LOVE to know what ever happened to the Whitehouse Energy Taskforce?
Miles Pergallon

Dear Miles,
The undisclosed members of the Cheney Group are happily enjoying the fruits of your labors at undisclosed gated communities where snoops like you won’t bother them with your petty concerns.

Dear Independent Media Center,
We were just wondering what ever happened to democracy in the USA
Pat Riot

Dear Citizen,
The “Freedom” everyone’s been talking about had some personal challenges to overcome recently. Having a history of substance abuse, American Democracy is presently seeking treatment in an undisclosed location.
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