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News ::
Fatherland Security on Alert as Isabel Once Again Becomes A Five (english)
14 Sep 2003
Modified: 16 Sep 2003
Commissar Ridge announced a change in the status of the color coded terror alert system today in response to the Muslim plot to destroy Washington D.C. with a hurricane.


Fatherland Security on
Alert as Isabel Once Again Becomes A Five
Author: Stephen
DeVoy
Date: 9/14/2003
WASHINGTON DC - Commissar Ridge
announced a change in the status of the color coded terror alert system
today in response to the Muslim plot to destroy Washington D.C. with a hurricane. 
The storm which has its origins off the coast of Africa, a continent noted
for a harboring a large number of Muslims, raged eastward, threatening the
east coast of the Fatherland.  The terror alert system, for the first
time in its history, was elevated to throbbing-red.  Fox News
released a tape, purportedly showing Osama bin-Laden eating children
somewhere in Afghanistan.  Heard in the background in broken Arabic
was a conversation concerning Allah's plot to destroy America with a
hurricane of mass destruction (HMD).  Israeli experts commented on
the tape, verifying its authenticity.  Israel officially offered it
best security agents from El Al airlines as advisors to the US Government
suggesting that its years of dealing with the Muslim problem made Israel
uniquely disposed to providing expert advice on oppressing Muslims in
response to attacks by HMDs.  Benjamin Netanyahu suggest that Iran
was behind the plot.  Richard Perle suggested an immediate invasion
of Iran promising that only regime change in Iran would prevent future
attacks on the US by HMDs.
As the winds on the east coast began
to stir, members of the Free Republic began organizing attacks upon Muslim
websites and forums.  An Arab American man was shot while attempting
to refuel his car at a Texaco station in Virginia.  The assailant,
driver of an SUV with a "Today Iraq, Tomorrow France" bumper
sticker, insisted that he was only doing what any patriotic American would
do.  Ann Coulter came to his defense and demanded that all Iranians
be forcefully converted to Christianity, "before it was too
late."  Bill O'Reilly demanded an immediate round-up of all
Arabs and Muslims in the United States.
A draft order for "voluntary
interviews" of all Muslims whose origins were included on a long list
of African and Middle Eastern countries was leaked.  Rumors surfaced
that hundreds of Arab and Muslim men had already been rounded up on
"visa violations."  We are still attempting to contact
noted author and Harvard University law professor Alan Dershowitz for his
position on torturing Muslim Americans in order to obtain information that
might prevent the hurricane from striking the east coast.  It is
anticipated that Dershowitz, consistent with his opinion on the
application of torture, as expressed in the wake of the attacks of 9/11,
will endorse the rumored policy currently under formulation by an agent of
the Department of Justice closely aligned with John Ashroft.  The
agent was interviewed at an S&M club and confirmed that torture was
not only the right way to go, but would have positive effects upon the
subject.
Attempts to contact Dick Cheney proved
to be futile, though strange pounding noises where heard by neighbors
living within a three mile radius of his compound.  President Bush was
interviewed in a bunker somewhere in the Midwest.  Tired from his
seemingly random flight to and from various Air Force based scattered
about the US, the President assured the American people that he would be
safe and that all possible measures were being taken to prevent the
hurricane from knowing his current position or predicting his next
move.  The President assured the American people that he knew that
their every thought was on his well being.  When asked about
intelligence reports alluding to additional attacks by HMDs, the President
responded, "bring 'em on."

See also:
http://www.stop-fascism.org/september_14,_2003.htm
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Comments

I like!!! (english)
16 Sep 2003
Above is so funny, I love it! A chicken shit prez, vice prez and company. How true!
Let's just hope, NONE of these crooks get SELECTED again!