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News ::
J20: Bring Bananas?
03 Jan 2001
Those arguing con criticized the banana's squishy texture, mediocre taste (unless fried in butter), the possibility that stormtroopers will make preemptive arrests of the "terrorists leaders" who carry bananas, and a concern that an excessive reverence for the banana could lean The Revolution backward toward a patriarchal society.
Sebastian Mendler wrote:
>
> BRING BANANAS.
>
> / / skip

Sebastian,

After a heated six-hour discussion among the Boston-Cambridge Greens, we
finally came to a sanctified consensus decision that it's up to each
individual whether bringing bananas to the J20 "inauguration" is appropriate
or not.

Those arguing pro defended the banana's exceptional nutritional value, its
naturally compact and lightweight design, and its wonderful utility as a
slippery defensive device against pursuing stormtroopers.

Those arguing con criticized the banana's squishy texture, mediocre taste
(unless fried in butter), the possibility that stormtroopers will make
preemptive arrests of the "terrorists leaders" who carry bananas, and a
concern that an excessive reverence for the banana could lean The Revolution
backward toward a patriarchal society.

The banana issue was very controversial. Especially when someone remembered
that the whole trade war between the US and Europe was instigated by the
dispute over tariff distinctions between democratic-cooperative-produced
bananas versus monopoly-corporate-produced bananas.

The discussion got a bit sidetracked when our banking specialists began
lecturing us on the merits of positive-value bananas vs negative-value Federal
Reserve notes. Both monetary analysts advocated bananas as a genuine,
biologically based currency that would be far more stable and far less
exploitative than Federal Reserve notes or other artificial fiat currencies.

By the sixth hour of debate, the banana issue almost broke up the
Boston-Cambridge Greens into ineffective splinter groups. Several impatient
members threatened to join either the Republicratic or Communist Party.

But then Iron John, sitting quietly in his corner, noticed two individuals had
dominated the whole debate, one of whom was chronically drunk and the other
whom was chronically stoned. Was this the old
stall-the-movement-over-issues-of-"process" routine? Or are these guys just
burned-out products of MKULTRA?

Iron John proclaimed, "feminism and consensus has its place in the cosmos, but
so does masculinism and individuality!"

At this point, the Boston-Cambridge Greens decided to fall back on natural law
and common sense, both of which dictate the individual's freedom to choose or
reject bananas.

Personally, I decided to bring a bright yellow Nokia banana-shaped cellphone,
in hope of getting preemptively arrested so I can be a "hero", meet
un-brainwashed and well-informed prisoners, and have some quiet time to write
a book or two about the underlying, politically incorrect, practical issues of
our epoch.

Jon Chance
B-C Greens

"Banality is a symptom of non-communication.
Men hide behind their clichés."
- Eugène Ionesco

"The only true aging is the erosion of one's ideals.
They're people of increasingly low expectations.
That's the definition of a frightened liberal."
- Ralph Nader

http://www.greens.org - Globalize Democracy.

http://www.votenader.org - Run with Ralph.

http://www.bfi.org - Utopia or Oblivion?

http://www.tompaine.com - Common Sense.

http://www.futurenet.org - Yes! Positive Futures.

http://www.indymedia.org - Independent Media Center.

http://www.transaction.net - What is Money?

http://www.grb.net - Global Currency for the 21st Century.

http://www.cinetopia.net - The Power of Light.

http://www.freespeech.org - Share Your Mind.
See also:
http://www.greens.org
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