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News ::
I have no mouth and yet I must SCREAM!!!! (english)
22 Nov 2003
Modified: 09:52:04 PM
I fear that I am losing my mind
My anger towards an unfair system and the pervasive "concealment" mentality of Americans pushed me to the brink, but I'm back with a vengeance. Join the Resistance on Saturdays in Harvard Square.

I should start first by saying that I am an anti-Zionist. In saying that, you should understand that I hate Israel, and I think that Israelis are no better than Nazis in their ideaology and their practices. The Palestinians have the right to exist, perhaps even more so than any people in the Middle East.

Let us now consider Zionism. Zionism attributes to a class of individuals various rights and privileges that it denies to others that are not members of that class. In the case of Zionism, the designated class with superior rights is the class of Jews. Among the specific rights attributed to this class are the right to live in what is now called Israel, the right to travel on specific roads in what is now called the West Bank and Gaza, the right to control the movements and organization of another group of human beings known as Palestinians, and the right to superior access to the Israeli legal system. The consequence of these additional rights has been the slaughter and expatriation of Palestinians. Palestinians have been harassed, humiliated, disenfranchised, and killed. Zionism, for these deeds, finds itself with history's class of evil and racist ideologies. Zionism belongs with other similar ideologies such as White Supremacy, Japanese Supremacy, and India's caste system.

This brings me to my personal experience. My grandmother lived into her seventies. All of my life, I was lead to believe that I was born of a Christian family, and I came to loathe that religion as well because of its pious and hypocritical ideaology. I was abused by my father, and our family was poor. My mother often forced my to shoplift for items of food for dinner. She once even concealed a steak in my sister's diaper. Fortunately, she was never caught. Meanwhile, my grandmother lived in luxury, and even though she had the means to help, she chose not to. She believed that each person made their own heaven or hell on Earth. That's why I dont believe in God. On her deathbead, she revealed something to me which called a rage from within me which forever changed my life.

After living a very long life as a very intelligent and sharp woman, my grandmother suffered a brain ailment. I may be dying of the same ailment. She was of Scottish descent. One of her ancestors had the family name Snow. In her last weeks of life, she said many things that seemed out of character. Her mind was going and she seemed to be living in her own world. Her last words were, "I am a Jew" or "I am now a Jew." We don't know why she said this. It took everyone by surprise. Those words made me very very angry. One night, after the family had gone to bed, I snuck into her bedroom. I could see her sleeping face by the light of the moon in her bed. I felt nothing but hate for this woman who now revealed that she was a Jew. I slowly picked up the spare pillow which lay by her bed, and put it over her face. I pressed very hard and she began to struggle. She was a frail woman, so it didnt take long for her to smother to death.

I stood there with the pillow still pressed to her face, and looked down at her lifeless form. I felt no remorse at all. I hated her and what she stood for. Then I began to cry. I realized that I was a Jew, and I hated myself for that. The next morning, nobody suspected how my grandmother died because they all expected it to come soon. I have lived with the guilt for all of this time, and now I am an anarchist. I do not support government, I do not support Israel, and I do not believe in God. If you would like to share a similar experience with me, I am in Harvard Square every Saturday next to the subway station. Buy some stickers, or just talk. I could really use a friend.