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Commentary :: Politics
hillary clinton will Never leave iraq because
27 Apr 2007
Modified: 05:47:58 PM
It’s a magic trick.
It seems as though the best liar becomes the President of the United States. Certainly George Bush ranks among the top liars of all time but you have to admit that he had ample assistance from Karl (Beanie Boy) Rove and Richard (Dick) Cheney.

Last night the Democrats had their first debate and Hillary Clinton took Barack Obama like a chicken by the throat and squeezed the puss out of him. The writing is on the wall and Hillary Clinton will be the Democratic nominee for President in 2008.

Hillary Clinton began campaigning for President in her mother’s womb. Bill Clinton is a superb liar and manipulator. Had his DNA not been on Monica Lewinsky’s dress he would have had us all believing that he never knew her. Even with the DNA he is now sliding right back into the most powerful office on earth.

Most politicians find it important to win over the independent voters, the middle. Bill Clinton has gone one better. He has spent so much time in the past few years working on the Tsunami and Katrina with President George Bush Sr. that most Republicans now think that Bill and Hillary Clinton are Republicans. Recently on Larry King Live Bill Clinton said that Hillary had decided to give posts in her new administration to President George Bush Sr. and Junior.

The Democratic Congress is such a transparent joke that they make Siegfried and Roy look tame. The Democratic caucus is laughing their heads off with one symbolic vote after another. If they sincerely wanted to leave Iraq they would simply cut off the funding. They will cut off the funding when the swallows return to Nancy Pelosi’s home in Capistrano.

Several thousand years ago Jesus Christ decided to nuke the 2 evil cities Sodom and Gomorrah. God decided to spare the righteous Lot, Lot’s wife and their two virgin daughters. It’s the sequel to when Jesus flooded everyone on earth but spared Noah and his wife and family. God laid conditions down for sparing Lot’s family. God said that if anyone looked back at the orange red flames of Sodom and Gomorrah then he would turn them to salt. Curiosity killed the cat when Lot’s wife looked back and God sent her to Salt Lake City to visit Mitt Romney.

The Democrats are playing a chess game with the American public now. They voted to fund Iraq on the condition that George Bush brings the troops home by next September. This way when Hillary Clinton debates Rudy Giuliani next year she can say, “If the Republican President had not vetoed our bill and ignored the will of the American public back in April 2007 we would be out of Iraq now.” Hillary Clinton stood on the stage in South Carolina last night and declared that when she is elected President she will leave Iraq. She keeps saying this because the American voters want to leave Iraq.

A dilemma is when we are forced to choose between two alternatives, a bad one and a worse one. Here is Bill Clinton talking to Hillary Clinton behind closed doors:

Hillary Clinton: “Bill should we leave Iraq?”

Bill Clinton: “Hillary let me lay it out for you. God told Lot’s wife not to look back. When she did God turned her into a statue of salt. Lets look at where we are now. We went to Iraq to steal their oil because America uses 22 million barrels of oil every day and imports 12 million barrels of oil a day at $65 per barrel. No other country uses even 2 million barrels of oil per day. The American people would rather sacrifice their children in Iraq than give up their Sunday drives in their SUV’s. So we still need Iraq’s oil.”

Bill Clinton continued: “Remember why you voted to send us to Iraq? You believed that Al Qaida was responsible for 911. Today Sunni Al Qaida is firmly entrenched in Iraq and the moment we leave Al Qaida could take over Iraq. The Iraq desert is an ocean of oil just under the surface and it costs only one dollar per barrel to get the oil out of the ground. Once Al Qaida has Iraq Osama bin Laden will build and purchase nuclear bombs and he will not hesitate to fire them at us.”

“You voted to invade Iraq because you believed that they had nuclear bombs. Today Iran is on the vergie arthur of having nuclear bombs and the Shiite Iranian Ayatollahs are even more eager to fire them at us than Osama bin Laden. In other words all of the reasons for your invasion of Iraq in 2003 actually exist today. It was like one of Sylvia Browne’s premonitions. If we leave Iraq now then America is a dead duck no matter whether Sunni Al Qaeda or Shiite Iran conquers Iraq, Kuwait and Saudi Arabia. They will have us over a barrel.”

Hillary Clinton: “So what should I say?”

Bill Clinton: “Saudi King Abdullah, George Bush Sr. and I had Junior build 10 permanent U.S. bases in Iraq. Just get out there and say that it was the Republicans’ fault that we went to Iraq, that if George Bush and the Republicans in Congress had gone along with the Democratic conditional funding bill back in April of 2007 we would already be out of Iraq, and that when you are elected President we will leave Iraq, except for a residual force.”

Hillary Clinton: “What’s a residual force?”

Bill Clinton: “Shhhhhh!”
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