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Commentary :: International
The Spiritual Reasons We Love Computers Golf and Men
07 Oct 2007
It’s more than the physical and spiritual connection between Bill Gates and Chi Chi Rodriguez.
According to the Big Bang Theory, this present version of the Universe came into being 15 billion years ago. The Earth came into being 5 billion years ago. Chi Chi Rodriguez was born 72 years ago into a poor Puerto Rican family with 5 brothers and sisters. His father earned $18 per week doing manual labor and tending cows. When he was 7 years old Chi Chi Rodriguez got a job carrying water on a Puerto Rican sugar plantation. Just based on the nature of Chi Chi Rodriguez the United States should allow every Mexican into the United States of America.

The United States, Mexico and Canada should all become one country. We would have Alberta’s oil, which is vastly greater than all of the Middle East oil, the great lakes, and Cancun. For that matter we should eliminate all man made countries and therefore stop wars between nations and stop spending all of our earnings on killing machines. “Imagine there’s no countries, it’s easy if you try.”

We all love computers because they allow us to put our thoughts down on paper and share them with other people all over the world in articles, blogs, e-mails, myspace, facebook, comments to blogs, interactive newspapers allowing comments, free worldwide video, audio and text instant messaging, and internet dating sites. In other words computers and the internet are the cure for loneliness in a society which has suffered the breakup of the traditional family structure. Combined with your television and telephone you can lock yourself alone in your room and continue to have an exciting social life indefinitely. We no longer need 5 brothers and sisters, our parents and grandparents and monopoly boards to entertain us.

All of the information in the world is in your keyboard. With soon we will have no need for doctors. With soon we will have no need for schools. With real time chat webcam video porn sites soon our boyfriends will have no need for us. We will be reduced to spinsters reading our spam.

The physical reason that we love computers is that they require no physical exertion whatsoever. We can spend our days typing away and feel as though we’ve actually done something. When Chi Chi Rodriguez was 7 he became a caddy. He made a branch from a guava tree into a golf club, and used a coke can for a golf ball. Then he taught himself golf by watching the golfers he caddied for and the next thing he knew he was traveling the world imitating Zorro on Shell’s Wonderful World of Golf with “The King”.

“The King of Kings” became famous because of the invention of books. “The King” became famous because of the invention of televisions. Paris Hilton became the modern day Aphrodite because of the invention of personal computers and the internet around the time Paris the heiress was born into the lap of luxury, the Century Regional Detention Center. In the old days people read fictional books, magazines and tabloids. Now we know that truth in real time on is much stranger than fiction. We are all voyeurs who love to watch the mighty fall from grace. Sue us. Charge us $250,000 for sharing 9 songs. You still will never stop us from using our computers.

Chemistry is an important part of any relationship. How can you be faithful to one person for your entire life, which is now double the length of our ancestors’ lives thanks to modern medicine, if you are not turned on by that person? It may sound superficial but there is a part of the human brain that feels good when it sees a beautiful image and cringes when it sees an ugly image. We love computers because websites are filled with beautiful images and colors and pictures and these make us feel good. It is a known fact that suicide rates are double in homes with no computers. So what if I just made that up, sue me.

Here comes the spiritual reason that we love computers. Numerous people have experienced near death experiences. These people have medically died. While they were dead the white light Holy Spirit living in their body left their body. In some cases their hospital rooms were drywall up to the first 8 feet and then glass for the top 2 feet. Their spirits floated up to the top of the room where they saw their husbands at the nurses’ station trying to pick up the nurse who had three windows open on her computer, one monitoring the patients, one to an internet dating site and one getting real time scores on Suddenly the doctor brought the woman back to life. When the husband walked into her room the dead woman said, “I see that Chi Chi Rodriguez is losing to Jack Nicklaus in the 18 hole playoff for the U.S. Senior Open.” While she was dead, the woman saw the computer and the bright white light tunnel to Heaven, the gateway which people for 5 million years have been taking back to Heaven, in another dimension.

In “I Am the Walrus” the Beatles sang “I am he as you are me and we are all together.” There are atoms in your body that were part of every living thing in history ever. In the Chinese Confucian Religion there is the idea of humans and nature becoming one. In the Buddhist Religion there is the belief that all living things are equal. Your white light Holy Spirit is the God living inside of us all regardless of belief.

Yesterday President George Bush said that regardless of faith we all pray to the same God. Jews, Christians and Muslims all pray to the very same God who carved the 10 commandments in stone at Mount Sinai 3,200 years ago last Wednesday. God of Mount Sinai is also known as God the Father, Jesus Christ, The Holy Spirit, Allah, Elohim, Yehovah, Hashem and Adonai. The white light Holy Spirit inside of us all is like gravity; it doesn’t matter if you believe in it or what you call it or if you know about it, it will still pull you in the right direction. Because this Holy Spirit lives in us all on Earth King David said, “You are all Gods, you are all children of God.” (Psalm 82:6 in the Old Testament, the Holy Scripture of Judaism, Christianity and Islam. Islam also follows the New Testament and the Muslim Messiahs are Jesus Christ and the Mahdi).

Unfortunately for human beings we always focus on our miniscule differences while completely ignoring our vast similaritites, including human DNA, men, golf and computers. When we die and go into the light we are unified with the souls of everyone else. You are God, (Holy White Light), you are part of God, you are one of God’s children. God carved in stone “Don’t Murder” because when you murder you are murdering God, and the God in the other person sees you doing it. The reason that we love computers is because when we look into the white light of our monitors we feel like we are back home in the tunnel back to Heaven and it makes us feel happy and peaceful like we feel when we die and leave our bodies and time slows down. We love being bathed in the white light.

Meanwhile, back on Earth, what is the meaning of life? We are here to experience feelings, both of joy and pain. People love going to the track because they go from the lowest low to the highest high. People ask “Why do bad things happen to good people?” An angel must suffer on earth in order to learn from her suffering, so that she can then help others overcome the same problem.

We are living in traumatic frightening times with threats of nuclear world war, global warming, polar bears and walruses going extinct, only 25 years ol oil left and economic worries. The number of major problems beyond our control is sick and making us sick. We love computers because when we click the computer does as it’s told. Psychologically, criticism and control make us feel better about ourselves.

There is no greater feeling than helping others. We love computers and golf because they allow us to try to help others. Into the light, let us approach, do not shut us out, for we have sinned, O Glorious God of Mount Sinai, Buddha, Krishna, Chinese God, all names of God. Or as Chi Chi Rodriguez prayed during his 30 wins, “Into the cup, let me approach, do not lip me out, for I have sinned, O Glorious God.” There is nothing like the feeling of a well struck five iron soaring into the mountains of Palm Springs California. Just ask Morgan Pressel. Computers are like dogs. Their love and light is unconditional.
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