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Commentary :: GLBT/Queer
Births of Babies in Unlikely Places --
23 Dec 2007
Perhaps dreams come true in the religious sphere, but dreams don't come true in the political world without work and commitment. There are no real grinches or miracle births, only our own sweat equity and perseverance.
Births of Babies in Unlikely Places --
Or the Grinch Who Impeded
Gay/Lesbian Equality

During this winter solstice time in America some of you will consider again the birth of babies in unlikely places, such as a particular middle-eastern stable during the Roman era approximately 2,000 years ago. And while reading about the 2007 Sissy Awards at I got to thinking about another unlikely birth place, a particular lesbian womb of the early 21st century.

The animal stable birth is well publicized by the anecdotal writings of the Middle Eastern tribes. However, the much more autocratic lesbian birth has been little written about after the novelty wore off and even more sparsely photographed.

In the Sissy Awards story I saw this glowing, gleaming, very rich, very secure photo of grandparents Lynn and Darth, I mean Dick, Cheney holding their sixth grandchild--artificially inseminated perhaps, I shudder to think it was conceived in the normal manner, but then neither was the alleged stable child--and I got to thinking that I have yet to see a single photo of the alleged mother Mary Cheney holding her hard-earned, and no doubt well-paid for, Samuel David, in public.

Not even People Magazine or supermarket tabloids have been able to publish a photo of this 21st century version of the miraculous birth of a singular human baby destined for fame and influence and born of unlikely parents.

Having queried several search engines I can find only the single photo described above and shown below. Not even Diana, the Princess of Wales, was able to achieve such invisibility. Even Charles, her former husband, next in line as sovereign to the British Isles theme park, had his titillating phone calls to his mistress, now second wife, made public.

Truly Vice (as Junta leader Bu$h so adoringly nicknamed the prime minister) has achieved a news blackout for his family to be envied by any head of state in the world.

But why not show off the little tyke? Is the poor thing defective, disfigured, does he so resemble his sire that the visage would be a dead give away as to who the father is? Maybe he was sent back for re-engineering? Does he have a disease picked up from a dirty Petri dish or pipette?

Maybe Samuel has to be kept hidden from the ire of the x-tian self-righteous just as the lowly stable baby had to be hidden from jealous desert monarchs.
Many fundies are not at all pleased with Mother Mary Cheney for having the god-forsaken temerity to have an artificially conceived pregnancy and to carry it to term without benefit of clergy.

To raise religious ire is to lose political votes and monetary contributions.

Should you think I'm picking on defenseless babes you'd be wrong--babies can't choose who will provide them with conception or who will make them the most fortunate baby of 2007. I wish all babies could be as well born as Samuel David Cheney.

What raises my own ire is the double standard achieved by the rich and well-placed as compared to the merely honest and hard-working.

Primary Mother Cheney and Secondary Mother (Aunt?) Heather Poe have had their bundle of good cheer delivered with all the gold, frankincense, and myrrh the family capital can buy.

Just think of the lesbian/gay equality progress that would be made if Mary Cheney were to spend just a bit of her own political and financial capital to make an appearance, a gift if you will, on the DeGeneres show or do a face-to-face with Oprah Winfrey about being a lesbian mother in America! Wouldn't that be a lovely and humanitarian gift to give to the entire country?

With the public knowledge that even Republicans have lesbian daughters who have babies, perhaps the political tenor of the anti-gay conversation would move from the monster image many of our enemies have of us to a more tranquil and equanimousness acceptance of the equality choices that would move the United States to a level approaching that of Uruguay, the first Latin American country to approve civil unions for its gay/lesbian citizens (

That would indeed be a gift no one else could match and make Mary Cheney, what should I say, instead of the anti-gay GOPer grinch but rather a mother to all us gay/lesbian Americans?

But like the stable birth of long ago, predicted to bring peace to the world and understanding to mankind, it ain't gonna happen, just like that long dream list you had as a kid at Xmas time.

Perhaps dreams come true in the religious sphere, but dreams don't come true in the political world without work and commitment. There are no real grinches or miracle births, only our own sweat equity and perseverance.

Sweet dreams, Samuel David Cheney, in your undisclosed crib, may they be Mary and bright, and all your Xmases be white.

Warm Family Photos of the Cheney Holy Family

This work is in the public domain
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