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Commentary :: Human Rights
When You Can See the Fact They're Manipulating, They Have Lost a Key Advantage
04 Jun 2013
Harassment within an institution is almost never an easy thing to deal with, for most victims of it, in most situations that is. The reason being, whether people harass you for your religion, your ethnic background, your race, your nationality, your gender or whatever else, when it’s serious harassment, the people doing the harassment specifically intend to make life difficult for you. Most people give up and leave whatever situation they are in, and if that works for them, that’s fine. For those that decide to stay in, whatever situation the harassment is happening in, say they need the job, need the education, do not feel they want to give in or for whatever other reasons, though it will be intimidating at first, with a little alertness, diligence and willpower you can learn to navigate through the illegal activity until the behavior ceases, you resolve it some other way or you reach whatever goal you sought in the place in which the harassment occurs.
When it first happens, it is intimidating. In institutions the feelings of dread and anxiety can reach even higher proportions, as the harassment is usually done in such a manner so the people doing the harassing, can get away with their activities. They try and plan and strategize to maximize getting whatever result they are looking for from you, while maintaining the appearance nothing has happened, or at the very least a comfortable level of plausible deniability. In such places the harassers usually have some manner of support, and people that trust them. Those people will be both folks like them, in terms of perpetrating similar behavior, and those that would never believe they would ever be capable of such behavior.

That can be a big part of what makes you feel intimidated. It feels like people are coming at you and for no reason, or at least no real rational reason. In the beginning, you feel like if only they could be reasoned with, and if only they could see the light and that there are more sensible ways to get what they want they may stop their behavior. Or maybe you feel that it’s just a matter of everybody working together as a team, like at a place of employment, and being a more effective unit as people that support and get each other’s backs, rather than folks that are sniping at each other and frittering time away, acting out of fears, prejudices and jealousies. You’re thinking in terms of the team, and in terms of productiveness, practicality and reality.

If such methods bear fruit, then that is wonderful, and you should definitely try resolution before any sort of other methods. However, the kinds of people that get involved in harassment are usually the kinds of people that address their negative reasons for doing what they do with any manner of endless rationalization, denial or just plain ignorant stubbornness (I.e. shaking their head and pouting no, no, no). I don’t say that out of cynicism, because I do believe in working to resolve issues. But there are certain people that are too dumb, idiotic, enslaved to their emotions, immature, full of paranoia and unable to transcend their fears, to realize the great rewards and benefits to compromising and working with others, rather than against them.

In order to appease the various components of their psychological makeup that harbor the afore mentioned limiting factors in their own psyche, they often feel they need to find others to try and openly work against. This accomplishes many things for them, including the fact that because they are unable to control the aspects of their mind that would help them overcome their issues and insecurities, they rationalize that by exerting control over others, they can gain back some of the control their shortcomings they feel they lack.

Experience has taught them they cannot get very far in life by picking on, starting trouble with and lashing out at everyone. Not only can’t they get very far in life like that, but they see things spinning out of control very quickly. Instead of facing their problems, they look outward, and develop a taste for and habit of seeking out people to target for harassment. They figure if they can plan to make you feel bad, they have some control in their lives. Sounds stupid, I know, but is wasting your time harassing people that never did anything to you, a smart thing to do? Of course not.

If you are the target of their harassment, then they have chosen you to be the person they derive the false feeling of control over their environment out of. It is a compulsion, and they really could care less about right or wrong. Rules and laws are just things to get around, to get to that false sense of control they desire. They need to target you, and manipulate not only you, but others that feel they are a friend, not to mention the rest of their environment, to get that feeling of control from their target – you.

That is what I did not l know at first when I started being harassed in college, but once I figured that out, I realized that they were not going to stop, they didn’t know how, have the smarts or level of psychological and emotional maturity to just stop. It’s like Palestine and Israel, they’re emotionally underdeveloped kids trying to start trouble and always looking to suck everybody else into their issues. In many ways, the people harassing me were still cavemen, groping around in the dark and making irrational primal emotion based decisions to get what is was they wanted or needed out of their surroundings.

Once I realized what they were, it came down to first deciding whether to stay or go. I could not go for many reasons, so then it was a choice I had to make regarding how best to proceed given the laws, rules, institution and not the least most important, the people involved. Though going through the proper channels is always the right thing to do, it is not always the most practical option – at least not at first. In my situation, the strategies used to harass me, to get me to leave, flunk or be expelled (they cared not which really), were carried out by authority figures using certain students to help them. It was their word against mine, and they were doing a great job at manipulating, lying to and bullying my fellow students and even other faculty members into helping them enough to create plausible deniability for themselves.

When many others are sharing in the workload of a crime, it makes it very hard to point to a source as the main culprit. But not to worry, there are ways to deal with it, even though it makes what they are doing to you no less barbaric or criminal. The first is to see that they are manipulating, and what people are at the root of that behavior. That is first and foremost. They often use guilt and a ploy to make it seem as though you are being irrational to get you to back off of complaining. They try and make you feel as if it’s all in your mind, or your fault.

See that. Know it. Never forget it. When you talk to them, you should view every single letter that falls from their mouths that way, as false. You don’t have to let them realize you know it and that you have put them into that place in your mind, but do it, regardless. That way you immediately move from the small self centered picture needed for survival, to a larger more detached view, and that is where you want to stay. It’s still survival, but a different kind of survival. From there it’s much easier to stay focused on what you want, see what they want and be able to see the differences that lie between the two. Then you can exploit those differences and begin to launch counter strategies against their own strategies. You will find that your harassers will use the same strategies over and over, and variations on those same strategies.

Depending on how long you’re in it, you may even find yourself saying “I remember that one” as various strategies are repeated, or even smiling inside about how badly that particular strategy failed the last time around. There are rules, and they have to live with them and work around them to get to you without being caught themselves, so when you know the rules and have seen their strategies once or twice, it can become very easy to spot them coming a mile away.

Mind you, your ability to fight back and stand your ground makes what they are doing no less illegal or against the rules set by the institution itself, but it can help if you are determined to get to whatever goal you have set for whatever reasons. Never be fooled by them saying things like “you might need us someday”, etc. They feel no guilt about the crimes they are committing, why should you feel guilt about standing up to those criminals? What they do is against the constitution and the very spirit of escaping oppression and living in freedom embodied by the folks that authored the document itself.

To answer your question, yes it works. I graduated, and they were unable to stop it. It was not easy, but I did it. I have no special gifts as far as smarts go, and am basically average in every respect of my intellectual abilities. So no genius is needed, just a willingness to stand up for yourself and some creativity. And never fall for the idea that they can be friendly to you, that is just a trap to get you vulnerable and off guard. Trust me I have been there. This is not advice for life outside of a very specific and real situation of harassment in an institution. This is just for situations of such harassment. It will also help reduce a little of the stress you carry from that place to your personal life outside of that situation, and after it is resolved or over. For those going through institutional harassment, that can definitely come in handy.

To read about my inspiration for this article go to
See also:

This work is in the public domain
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