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News ::
Activists Pollute Bay, Hijack Ship (Satire)
16 Aug 2000
November 27th, 1773
Web posted at: 2:54 p.m. EDT (1854 GMT)
Boston (CNN) – Shock and outrage was expressed by Boston law enforcement Tuesday when an activist group calling itself the “Sons of Liberty” violently boarded three ships belonging to the East India Tea company

The activists, protesting supposedly high taxes and free trade with Britain, dumped an estimated one million adjusted dollars worth of tea into Boston Bay, causing untold harm to local marine life and the fishing industry. Francis Rotch, owner of the Dartmouth, one of the vessels seized, expressed disbelief at the brazen nature of the crime.

“They say they want freedom from taxation, but this is going too far. Freedom isn’t the right to destroy private property,” he said.

Activists mock Indians, Negroes

Taking to the streets Tuesday, activists convened into a mob of over 800 people by mid-evening. Marching through the city from Faneuil Hall to the Griffin Warfs, protesters blocked traffic and incited police with songs of revolutionary ambitions.

Possibly to conceal their identities, members of the Sons of Liberty group wore elaborate costumes during their march. These costumes took the form of so-called “Mohawk Indian” dress and black makeup which activists smeared on their faces to appear African.

“This was an insult, both to consumers and minorities,” a spokesperson for East Indian Tea said Wednesday, regarding the protests, “they’ve had their chance to be heard, and now they’re resorting to lawlessness to win arguments.

Police say containing Convergence Centers may be the key

Police and royal authorities site a failure to contain and predict protesters for the events of the 27th. Known activist leader Samuel Adams is believed now to have incited the crowd at Faneuil Hall, and rallied them for the unlawful march through downtown. The DA’s office released an announcement Wednesday that Adams may also be suspect for conspiracy in the destruction of East India property, including the millions in tea that now litter the once beautiful Boston Bay.

Prime Minister Lord North spoke out following the chaotic demonstration, denouncing the action as “Intolerable.”

Before parliament, North called for the passing of the Impartial Administration of Justice Act, which would allow for the rapid deployment of British troops to disperse any future acts of political terrorism from activist groups in the colonies. In spite of controversy, the Impartial Administration of Justice Act is expected to pass parliament and await signing by the king as early as May.

(I figured everyone could use a chuckle. Remember, history does not always remember things the way the news reports them! -TheNewOhioGreen
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