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Commentary :: Education
No Child Left Behind
19 Oct 2004
New Bush initiative.
No Child Left Behind

The New Math

(1) Private England sucks Sergeant Bilko’s six inch dick. Sergeant Johnson’s dick is five times as long as Sergeant Bilko’s dick is wide. Sergeant Bilko’s dick is four time longer than it is wide. Whose dick would Private England prefer to suck?

(2) Private Smith is dragging one naked Iraqi prisoner with a chain twice as long as the shackles attached to a Guantanamo detainee’s legs. When shackled, a Guantanamo detainee cannot reach the bowl of water left for him on the follow. The closet he is able to get to the water is three feet. How long is the chain that Private Smith is using to drag the naked Iraqi prisoner?

(3) Corporal Betty Sanders has been raped by four different fellow American soldiers while on duty in Kuwait. She has been raped five times. How many American soldiers raped her only once?

(4) Mrs. Brown lost three sons in the war in Iraq. President Bush lied 73 times to justify his war in Iraq. How many lies did President Bush tell per dead son of Mrs. Brown?

(5) An Afghani child is playing in a field. He comes across three yellow packages. One package contains food and the other two contain explosives dropped by Americans. The child picks up a yellow package. What is the probability that the child will be blow to pieces?

(6) Private England has created a pyramid out of 15 naked Iraqi detainees. The pyramid is five feet high. On the average, how many naked Iraqi detainees are there per vertical foot of Private England’s pyramid.

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