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News ::
Toilet Paper Vs. National Security
19 Aug 2001
To be truthful, I've must admit I've never had reason to contemplate the possibility that toilet paper would come to be considered as a threat to our national security. Apparently the SS now finds itself so wrapped in paranoia, that in order to protect the most widely despised Moron in modern history, they need resort to making it up as they go. Making mockery of the Constitution as it suits them....
Toilet Paper Vs. National Security

"They called them missiles," Fischer said of the toilet-paper rolls. "They said that they presented a national security threat and that they needed to hold me until the president was out of the valley. . . . They asked me if I had ever been institutionalized" John Fischer 8/14/01 Colorado Daily

To be truthful, I've must admit I've never had reason to contemplate the possibility that toilet paper would come to be considered as a threat to our national security. Apparently the SS now finds itself so wrapped in paranoia, that in order to protect the most widely despised Moron in modern history, they need resort to making it up as they go. Making mockery of the Constitution as it suits them....

Now, I consider myself to be fairly well informed, but obviously toilet paper has now been determined to possess some tactical or strategic threat to the national well being. Who knew? Unless this supposed weapon, with only slightly more "deadly force" than a nerf ball, is proven to be a threat to one so thick headed as Usurper Boy, I'm afraid I'm going to need further explanation.

When the Pretendent's high speed motorcade blew into Denver, four separate 1st Amendment Zones were set up to corral any dissenters, whilst supporters were allowed to freely assemble wherever they pleased. At one of the 1st Amendment Pens, John Fischer of Whatpresident.com showed up wrapped in Bush Wipes, his private label brand of toilet paper. The toilet paper has pictures of Bush, Cheney, Ashcroft, and Powell. Labeled respectively- Bush Wipe, Dick Wipe, Ash Wipe, and Colin Wipe. He then proceeded to hand out complimentary rolls and bumper stickers.

At that point the SS ordered the police to arrest and detain him. The charge being, based on no known evidence, that he encouraged teenagers to throw rolls of Bush Wipes at the passing motorcade. Mr. Fischer denies the allegation. He ended up being questioned by SS agents and ultimately charged with disorderly conduct, which he vows to fight. Seems somewhat harsh to cite and fine an angry citizen for wrapping themselves in TP. If he were to much an embarrassment he could have just as easily been illegally detained and then released. This is Amerika ain't it?

Wonder why the SS had John Fischer's number going in? A little detail may explain the quick action and harsh treatment by the occupation regime of one who has merely wrapped their self in toilet paper. He has posted personal thank you's from both President Clinton and President Gore on his website. It seems he had sent them complimentary gifts and they were moved to personally thank him. Read them yo'self at

http://store.yahoo.com/whatpresident/bilclinletto.html

http://store.yahoo.com/whatpresident/algorlettojo.html

Might John Fischer be on to something here? Perhaps the perfect means by which to greet Dubya, wherever he may go...

Cactuspat
See also:
http://sites.netscape.net/catuspat01/
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