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Commentary :: International
Stattfor prime suspect in London Bombing
07 Jul 2005
In the long tradition of news leaks, the latest results of my investigation of the London bombings as I work backwards in time to get a positive ID lock on an exact asshole
According to the information available, about Stattfor, they offfer "Strategic Intelligence and Analysis Consulting Stratfor has been fulfilling the intelligence needs of corporations and government organizations for more than a decade with confidential consulting services tailored to specific needs. " According to Fortune Magazine, "Stratfor Inc., is one of the elite but low-profile private intelligence agencies that are increasingly relied upon by multinational corporations, private investors, hedge funds, and even the government's own spy agencies." Barron's says of them that they are "A private quasi-CIA", and that," Stratfor has enjoyed an increasing vogue in recent years." This is probably a good thing, depending on what side of the fence you are on, since the CIA would probably be in shit if anyone caught them overthrowing even so much as one more government in the Third World, so that sort of thing would have to be outsourced, or just given up on all together, which isn't likely to happen. So its nice to see that people are still thinking and planning ahead, thus setting up their own outfit in the spirit of more of that privatization of government services I would suppose.

Now so far my investigation of the London Bombings has led me towards Stattfor, since from the new reports coming out now, it would appear to be the case that they were the only ones who knew about it ahead of time. Apparently they told the British government, and Israel knew about it as well, but due to clueless incompetence we are told, the Brits did nothing to stop the terrorist attack. Then, due to the complete cluelessness of Stattfor, instead of calling the media and posting stuff on the internet in an urgent attempt to save the public, they just sat on the story until after the bombing, and are now apparently planning to make a scape goat out of Tony Blair, who they consider a political dead meat anyway, so that they can then add extra credibility to the Osama Bin Laden story...you know that bit about how some dumb assholes failed to warn the public, even though Osama was coming, which everyone apparently knew days ago, thus proving that it was definately Osama, and hanging Tony out to dry...

But that's the spy business for you...always overthrowing governments all the time, although now that they have been privatized I suppose they have branched out to the first world as well...

So then I think I am coming closer to getting a positive ID lock on the exact precise asshole that did that bombing, just judging from the finger prints and stuff I have collected so far that point in only one direction, unless you are stupid enough to believe that not very well thought out cover story...and they call that place 'an intelligence organization'...


Some Burlesque

Just to try to get back on topic after having been interuppted so rudely by Stattfor, let's talk about that imperialist colonial exploitation again, so that finally at long last we can stop talking about that ridiculous neoliberal cover story...

Now you would think that when a group of powerful imperialists had military superiority over the world, that, just perhaps, they might have been tempted to use their superpowered status for the purposes of evil and exploitation, but fortunately, due to the influence of the Pope and a bunch of Cardinals, the tempering influence of religion had created imperialists with a conscience. So the decision was made to use the military crusader complex for doing good rather than evil, by mounting a world wide rescue operation for the sake of humanity. In order to bring about world wide salvation great armadas were dispatched by these reformed imperialists, carrying soldiers and high tech toys of the time such as cannonsm and muskets, and a bunch of religious right priests were also piled on board ship, since they were the only priests who understood the blibical principle that teaches that salvation came out of the barrel of a gun, because they remained loyal to God's word, and thus read the entire Old Testament as well as that Newer one, and then after arduous theological parsing, managed to put the pieces together, and come up with a synthesis of New Testament Pacifism and Old Testament militarism, which meant that it was okay to be militaristic, if it was for a good cause. Together the priest and the army set sail, each former imperialist country agreeing to carve up the world like a giant pie, since saving the whole entire world was to much for any one country back in those days.

The first order of business was to defeat the terrorists who naturally began offering resistance when they saw the doctrine of the devil was going down, and so with cannons blazing a beach head was busted out on shore, and under the banner of the Lord, with trumpets blaring that song about the glory of the Lord's terriblly swift sword plattoons of soldiers hit the beaches and began pushing the back the devil. And then the greatest emergency humanitarian mission up to that point in human history began, as boat loads of religious right priests, carrying with the nourishing sustenance of the bread of life, the Bible, were rapidly rowed to shore, popping up like a jack in the box as that boat slammed ashore, and then like a squad of marines hit the beaches at a full speed trot and began fanning out over the country in an emergency relief effort...

All these favors were done for the third world in exchange for a small fee, because even though there was no longer any imperialism and thus no imperialistic wars, only the good kind of wars, still that sort of thing isn't cheap, and someone had to pay for it.....

This work is in the public domain
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