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Hidden with code "Policy Violation"
Announcement :: Environment
Cultist Eric McDavid Plans Suicide
07 Mar 2006
Modified: 12:50:09 AM
Cultist Eric McDavid has decided he
will no longer supplement his prison diet with snack food. Having regained his strength on peanuts, he is now strong enough to challenge his prison on dietary provision issues again.

He has, true to cultist form, adopted a protein free diet and is working on a vacant emaciated look in hopes of gaining adherents and maximizing his prison charisma. Eric is a member of the vegan earth cult which believes animals are better than people and terrorism is okay.

Eric plans to use his self-starvation as a guilt trip, much like Jesus Christ or the tantric shamans of India. Eric, an apparent extraterrestrial claims to be unable to consume butter. Slags, as you remember from Alien Nation, were unable to touch sea water. Butter, a common substance found on earth will make Eric die.

To maximize his cultish appearance, Eric has also given up exercise along with his diet. He hopes to attain perfection when he gives up his life.

The only thing to stop the martyrdom of Eric is for the whole prison system to collapse. Several of the faithful are praying for that at the time of this writing.

Eric refuses to discuss these matters. To this effect he has sewn his lips shut and now sits on a block of ice. Friends say Eric has the ability to levitate but not to make vegan food appear out of nowhere.

This work is in the public domain