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News ::
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13 May 2002
Modified: 06:27:05 PM
anarchist,pacifist,animal rights links.
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Alternative Government
13 May 2002
My Fellow Earthlings,

In times like these, there's no point in beating around the bush. Due to the fact that certain parties continually and unlawfully proclaiming themselves to be "the U.S. Administration" are guilty of numerous felonies*, I, Jonathan P. Chance, provisional President of the United States, hereby nominate the following citizens to serve the lawful United States Administration until genuine, manually counted, fair and open elections** are held in our nation:

Vice President - Woody Harrelson
Secretary of Agriculture - Jeremy Rifkin
Secretary of Commerce - Joseph Stieglitz
Secretary of Defense - Colin Powell
Secretary of Education - Arianna Huffington
Secretary of Energy - Denis Hayes
Secretary of Health and Human Services - Bernard Lietaer
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development - Jimmy Carter
Secretary of Labor - William Whyte
Secretary of State - Barbara Lee
Secretary of the Interior - Winona LaDuke
Secretary of the Treasury - Ron Paul
Secretary of Transportation - Paul Wellstone
Secretary of Veterans Affairs - John McCain
Attorney General - Ralph Nader
Chairman of the Federal Communications Commission - Jim Hightower
Chairman of the Federal Election Commission - Ronnie Dugger
Director of the Defense Intelligence Agency - Thomas Wilson
Director of the Drug Enforcement Agency - Brad Pitt
Director of the Environmental Protection Agency - Amory Lovins
Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation - Mike Ruppert
Director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency - Jesse Ventura
Director of the National Security Agency - James Bamford
National Security Advisor - Gary Sick
Press Secretary - Gore Vidal
Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms - DISSOLVED
Central Intelligence Agency - DISSOLVED
Federal Reserve Corporation - DISSOLVED
Internal Revenue Service - DISSOLVED

Meanwhile, all participants of the unlawful "U.S. Administration" are hereby ordered to surrender themselves to the Federal Bureau of Investigation or the United States Army.

Jonathan P. Chance
President of the United States

May 11, 2002

jpchance (at)

* The parties who continually and unlawfully proclaim themselves to be "the U.S. Administration", besides violating the most essential Articles and Amendments of the Constitution, also violate the following Codes, and thereby do not lawfully represent the citizens of the United States.

Title 18, Chapter 11, Section 201 (Bribery of public officials.)

Title 18, Chapter 11, Section 241 (Conspiracy against rights.)

Title 18, Chapter 13, Section 242 (Deprivation of rights under color of law.)

Title 18, Chapter 19, Section 373 (Solicitation to commit a crime of violence.)

Title 18, Chapter 50A, Section 1091 (Genocide.)

Title 18, Chapter 93, Section 1924 (Unauthorized removal and retention of classified documents or material.)

Title 18, Chapter 95, Section 1956 (Laundering of monetary instruments.)

Title 18, Chapter 95, Section 1957 (Engaging in monetary transactions in property derived from specified unlawful activity.)

Title 18, Chapter 113B (Terrorism.)

Title 18, Chapter 115, Section 2381 (Treason.)

Title 18, Chapter 115, Section 2384 (Seditious conspiracy.)

Title 18, Chapter 115, Section 2385 (Advocating overthrow of government.)

** Violations of fair election procedures are evidenced in the following documents:
See also: