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Commentary :: Gender
marriage = closet (english)
18 Nov 2003
Modified: 20 Nov 2003
MA court likes same-sex marriage (sorta)
queers still think it's worthless (very)
so of course we oughta be able to visit our lovers in the hospital and share in various state-mediated services....

but i'm still an angry anti-marriage queer.
here's why:

so now (maybe) upper-middle-class gay men and lesbians will be able to sign their spouses onto their company healthcare just like breeders. yay. the rest of us are still just as uninsured (whether we're coupled or not), and it'll be harder to get the cash=community crowd to push for universal healthcare.

so now i can get one of my lovers access to my comatose body - but only if i'm also willing to trust the same one with my finances, kids, and all the rest of the package...
one size fits all.

we've already seen most "mainstream" (read: white & well-off & mostly boys) gay & lesbian groups drop everything to put all their resources into marriage.
they've sold out trans folks (will the ESPA boys remember to include gender expression next time, *after* they've been told "it's not because you're gay; we fired you for wearing an earring and those femmy shoes"?), they've sold out queers of color, poor & working-class queers, leather folks, and practically everyone else they couldn't imagine inviting over for a sedate cocktail party. sakia gunn died in newark for being a butch - marriage will solve it! HIV medication price gouging - marriage will solve it! it's illegal to teach a NYC high-school kid to put on a condom - marriage will solve it! yeah.

and now we get to see them do it more thoroughly: if you don't assimilate, they don't have your back.
no more "love makes a family" - now marriage makes it, and nothing else. so what if queers don't tend to raise kids in thermonuclear pairs - HRC won't defend your perverse lifestyle.
no more fighting for queer youths' rights to sexual expression - save yourself for marriage, child, or you won't get GLSEN's help.
and god help you if you're single, polyamorous, kinky, or trans - 'cause our "community leaders" sure won't.

and you can kiss goodbye the little openings that domestic partnership laws have made - the ones that let you sign up a friend to take your kids, just in case; or a cousin to approve your medical treatment when your parents want you dead; or a housemate to visit you in jail. if it ain't your one-and-only-for-life there's nothing you can do. it's married or nothing - and most of us get nothing we want either way.

so congratulations to all the stepford queers out there - i'm sorry, i mean stepford homosexuals. wish us luck as you kick us aside on your way up the staircase to hetero heaven - i hope the view through the glass ceiling suits you.

don't worry about *us*. you'll hear from us soon enough - like you did at the stonewall, like you did in the white nights, like you did when matthew shepard was killed (even though he was one of you, not us). and when you hear us, break out the paper towels - you'll shit yourselves now just like then. different times, same old shit.

we don't want your wedding-cake closet any more than we wanted the old one you never wanted to leave. we don't want any place at the table - who wants to sit down at a time like this? we're in it together - and you ain't no brothers and sisters of ours.

marriage = closet.

come out already.

rozele
not gay as in happy, queer as in fuck you
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Don't believe in gay marriage? (english)
20 Nov 2003
Don't have one.