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Commentary :: Environment
Dear George....
15 Jul 2004
God writes to George Bush.

Dear George....

The voice within George Bush's head took up his pen.  The Chosen One was feeling the heat from those who questioned his actions and the Chosen One had asked his spiritual guide to put in writing a statement of praise and support.  It was a strange request for spiritual guide does not, under normal circumstances, do letters.  These were not normal circumstances, however.  Much was on the line.  Victory was near and the spiritual guide had no intention of allowing victory to be snatched by the jaws of defeat.  "It's seldom that I come so close," thought the spiritual guide.  "If writing a letter will help, so be it!"

And thus he began the letter of support:

Dear George,

I have chosen you to do My bidding on Earth.  The voice you hear inside your head is, indeed, Mine.  I assure you that your devotion to my cause has won you a special place in my heart.  I am already preparing space for you here with me when your time comes.

Your efforts to rid the world of the false God "Allah" is most impressive.  All of us here in the Great Beyond are routing for you.  The path you trod may be bloody, but it is, in the end, all for the better.

Yes, my son, the End Times are near and it has been your task to ensure that the end is ushered in exactly as I have designed.  Within your life time, I will send another and He will be the Second Coming.  All will be judged and the righteous, such as yourself, will be brought to my side for an eternity.  I will bring you and all who follow you into My bosom and together we will enjoy the sweet smell of eternity.

Sincerely,
God

Satan put down his pen.  "What is that smell?" he asked.

"It's Hitler," said Satan's servant.

"Stick a fork in his ass, turn him over, he's done!", Satan hissed.  "While you're at it, send this letter off to George."


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Wake Up. Religion is for Idiots!
15 Jul 2004
Screw Religion!