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News :: International
Hamas Proposes Summit and Askes for Attendence
16 Feb 2006
Ismail Haniyeh urges Jewish participation in "bringing closure" to conflict in the Middle East.
After his militant Islamic party took the majority in Palestine's recent elections, Ismail Haniyeh called for a "giant summit with all living Israelis" Monday, rekindling international hopes for peace in the war-torn region.

Ismail Haniyeh urges Jewish participation in "bringing closure" to conflict in the Middle East.

Haniyeh characterized the one-day summit as "the final solution to the Israeli-Palestinian dispute," and invited every Jewish citizen of the world to attend. Haniyeh said he expects more than 5 million participants from Israel alone.

"It was foolish of us to think that a satisfactory resolution could be reached through small-scale aggression," Haniyeh said. "It will take more than the sporadic deaths of small groups of Jewish civilians to achieve our ends."

"This summit is long overdue," he added.

Haniyeh, who once said that Palestinian independence could only be achieved through the destruction of Israel, has apparently reversed his stance.

"It is clear to us now that a positive outcome will not be possible unless many, many sacrifices are made," Haniyeh said. "I give my word that the Israeli people shall have their cries for peace heard for miles around."

Haniyeh did not disclose the issues that will be discussed at the summit, saying only that he "would be very surprised if the entire process took longer than a couple of hours."

Haniyeh also extended an invitation to any high-ranking American official who would like to moderate the proceedings.

"We will achieve our goals with or without foreign help," Haniyeh said. "However, if George W. Bush or other top-level U.S. officials wish to attend, it would certainly make those first, most difficult steps a lot easier to take."

In a public statement Tuesday, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad endorsed the "Hamas-led peace process," and offered the use of Tehran's Azadi Stadium as an "impartial location away from the distracting glare of publicity."

"It is about time for a summit of this nature," Ahmadinejad said. "The people of Iran will do anything they can to help further this crucial process."

According to Haniyeh, Jews need only arrive with an open mind, insisting that the summit can have a positive outcome only if traditional and long-standing prejudices "are left at the door, along with any weapons, gas masks, or bulletproof vests."

"Security is of the utmost importance, which is why the summit will be watched over by my most loyal and experienced men," Haniyeh said. "To this end, every Jew will also be marked with a six-digit protection number."

Hamas has already gone to significant lengths to ensure that Israeli Jews will be able to attend the summit, including transportation via specially chartered freight trains.

"Very much like a cleansing fire, the summit will wipe the slate of Arab-Jewish relations utterly and irreversibly clean," Haniyeh said. "By the end of our negotiations, those who walk out of the summit will be very pleased."

"With the blessing of Allah, we will soon see every last obstacle standing in the path to harmony exterminated," Haniyeh added. "Like the filthy dogs they are."

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Re: Hamas Proposes Summit and Askes for Attendence
16 Feb 2006
stupid joke.
Re: Hamas Proposes Summit and Askes for Attendence
16 Feb 2006
The Palestinian's homeland is no more Hamas' property to be giving in part to Zionist crusaders than it is Fatah's to be giving to Zionist crusaders. Just as French lands were not the Vichy French government's to be giving to Nazis.
Re: Hamas Proposes Summit and Askes for Attendence
16 Feb 2006
Hertzel Proposes Jewish only state and Askes for Attendence

Theodor Hertzle urges Jewish participation in "bringing jews" to the Middle East.

After his militant zionist party took the majority in Palestine's recent invasion, zionist leaders called for a "giant summit with all living jewss" Monday, rekindling international fears of war in the peaceful region.

Zionists urges Jewish participation in "bringing terror" to people in the Middle East.

hertzel characterized the jewish state as "the final solution to the jewish intergration problem," and invited every Jewish citizen of the world to attend. he said he expects more than 5 million participants from europe alone.

"It was foolish of us to think that a satisfactory resolution could be reached through small-scale aggression," the zionist leader said. "It will take more than the sporadic tresspass of small groups of Jewish civilians to achieve our ends."

"This summit is long overdue," he added.

Hertzel, who once said that jewish supremamacy could only be achieved through the destruction of palestine, has apparently accelerated his stance.

"It is clear to us now that a positive outcome will not be possible unless many, many dead arabs are made," Hertzel said. "I give my word that the Israeli people shall have their cries for blood and terror heard for miles around."

Hertzel did not disclose the issues that will be discussed at the summit, saying only that he "would be very surprised if the entire transfer process took longer than a couple of years."

Hertzel also extended an invitation to any high-ranking American official who would like to betray their country.

"We will achieve our goals with or without foreign help," Hertzel said. "However, if George W. Bush or other top-level U.S. officials wish not to attend, it would certainly make those first steps most difficult for them after we finish with their legs"

In a public statement Tuesday, German President Adolf Hitler endorsed the "Zionist led agenda," and offered the use of all of nazi germany as an "departing location away from the distracting glare of historical review."

"It is about time for a jewish state of this nature," Hitler said. "The bankers funding the nazi party will do anything they can to help further this crucial process."

According to Hertzel, Jews need only arrive with little clue, insisting that the state can have a profitable outcome only with traditional racism and long-standing prejudices and "along with weapons, gas masks, or bulletproof vests given out to all as they come in the door."

"Security is of the utmost importance, which is why the state will be watched over by my most loyal and experienced hit men," Hertzel said. "To this end, every Jew will also be marked with a six-digit protection number."

Hertzel has already gone to significant lengths to ensure thatJews will be able to attend the jewish state, including transportation via specially chartered freight boats.

"Very much like a cleansing fire, the jewish state will wipe the slate of western and Arab relations utterly and irreversibly destroyed," hertzel said. "By the end of our massacres, those who walk out of palestine will be very pissed."

"With the blessing of the torah, we will soon see every last obstacle standing in the path to Jewish supremacism exterminated," Hertzel added. "Like the filthy goyim dogs they are."
These tirades should end
16 Feb 2006
I like counting how many times the New York times refers to Hamas as a terrorist group with its masterplan bent on the destruction of Israel. I think no one should add any comments after I do, because the anti- or pro- Israel- Palenstine conversation is tiresome. We all need to evaluate what our objectives are. Can we have peace when having a strong military force? Can we kill because we think our people's deaths mean more than our enemy? Is forgiveness like catching sunshine in your hands?
It's make me sad that I will never get to go to Israel/Palenstine because of what a hell-hole it has become. As a wise man once said, pave it over and make it a friggin parking lot.
HITLER PROPOSES SUMMIT, ASKS FOR ATTENDANCE
16 Feb 2006
"The Troll" is an idiot. Zionist Crusader is an oxymoron. Come to think of it, "The Troll" is just a moron.
Re: Hamas Proposes Summit and Askes for Attendence
16 Feb 2006
Can we quit talking about the fictitious religious wars and talk about something real.