AMERICA IS UNDER TERROR ALERT THREATCON ORANGE! ORANGE IS ONLY ONE SHADE UNDER...(GULP)...RED! THE CIA WARNS OF IMMINENT BIO-CHEMICAL, DIRTY BOMB, US ARMY ANTRHAX, WEST NILE/MAD COW DISEASE, HIV-AIDS ATTACK BY AMERICAN GOVERNMENT SPONSORED SADDAM-WORSHIPPING AL-QUEDA TERRORISTS! STOCK UP ON DUCT TAPE. DUCT TAPE IS THE ONLY THING STANDING BETWEEN YOU, YOUR LOVED ONES, AND YOUR FAMILY FROM THIS NEFARIOUS AND DIABOLOGICAL ATTACK. GO TO YOUR LOCAL STORES AND BUY DUCT TAPE, LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS OF DUCT TAPE. REMEMBER DUCT TAPE IS YOUR FRIEND.
The Home Planet Security Department’s color code alert system was implemented in the wake of the 9-11 crisis when it became clear that certain nominal leaders of rogue states would use the fear of “terrorism” as a means to expand their influence and increase their grip on other nation’s natural resources
After hanging a giant banner visible from across the Charles river, several dozen MIT students clad in white bodysuits and lab coats braved frigid temperatures this morning to demonstrate their opposition to the looming US-led war in Iraq. (article 1)